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SPOOGER
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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS Hi there all you jerkoffs and jackasses. You've got questions? Melissa's got answers. The questions come from you, the Witless Imbecile Male Pornsurfers of the world (WIMPS). The answers come from the keyboard-tickled tips of Melissa's french-manicured fingers. WITLESS IMBECILE MALE
PORNSURFER: Whut thees site
is? I created Humiliatrix because I get a huge kick out of kicking around and teasing guys like you: Big-shot-on-the-outside, emotionally-retarded-on-the-inside, macho-poseurs; geeks and freaks in business suits, jerking up your Dockers on somebody else's expense account. Surfing for pictures of strap-on chicks and Sarah Michelle Gellar, while pretending to do your bosses' bidding like a good little soldier. I take enormous pleasure in devising devious ways to expose you -- as the wanker wimp you are, beneath your tough-guy, bullshit-artist, double-lifer's uniform. If you're trying to scam a peek at my sadisticly sexy e-zine, you're probably the just the kind of drool-mouth, jizz-pants, internet porn-seeking wanker-perv who inspired me to launch this cyber-rag in the first place. Here's your fair warning: if you whip out that little credit card of yours and buy your way into the Humiliatrix members site, I'm going to pry, probe and farce my way into your pea-brain psyche to make you do shameful, embarrassing things to yourself. I'm going to arouse your pathetic pervert's lust so that you'll risk making a complete, mortified, crotch-stained idiot of yourself. Just for my amusement. Remember, sticky-shorts: I warned you. WITLESS IMBECILE MALE
PORNSURFER: Whey is you pix? Aha. So you want to jerk off to my image, is that it? A picture of me. Something you can print out, stick in your wallet and whip out when you're alone in the men's room? Something you can pull up on the internet and pull down your pajamas to after wifey and the kids are asleep? Gee, I'm so flattered and honored that you want to choke your chicken to a depiction of yours truly. Nothing doing. If and when I post my pics on the site it will be to tease, deny and humiliate you in a way I've yet to devise. In the mean time, you can use your imagination, dream on, and keep on jerking it to my sister teases... Buffy, Britney and co. WIMP:
What's a coocooclockold? I'm not the dictionary or your lit professor, twit. It's not my fault you spent your formative years rubbing your crotch and daydreaming to your sexy english teacher's legs and therefore have the vocab of a five year old. Look it up, loser. Or better yet. Ask your wife, your steady girlfriend. They'll probably just laugh at you. WIMP:
Duh, me want jerkoff stuff. Shut up you insatiable pervert twit. Your troller questions are beginning to annoy me. WIMP:
When me get go jerkoff again? The site is updated whenever I feel the urge to amuse myself by making you debase and mortify yourself. Which is generally about once a week! You've succeeded in boring me completely. No more questions. -MELISSA
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